Sunday, June 30, 2024

CMRO 1- Funny Pages (1936) #2 [S Story]

Story title: "Loot of the Bengal Sea, Part I"

Cover Date: October 1937

By: Norman Daniels and Fred Guardineer

CMRO Entry


Alright, here it is! The start of the CMRO! And who's the first to debut? Spider-man? The Avengers? An X-man, perhaps? No, silly! It's Dave Dean! What's that? You don't know who Dave Dean is? Well, me neither!

If you've been following the DCRO you might've noticed something by now: Doesn't the title "Funny Pages" ring any bells? That's right! The Clock appeared in a couple of earlier issues. This kind of intersection is really weird by today's standards, but keep in mind that this magazine wasn't published by either Marvel or DC and featured a wide arrange of characters that later changed hands many times. The Clock and Dave Dean are such characters. We still don't really know how The Clock ended up in DC, but Dave's case is fairly simple: He had about seven appearances in Funny Pages, and one of those appearances was reprinted in one of the many anthological magazines Timely Comics (now Marvel) published at the time, which was, in turn, enough to grant him a mention in a handbook that stated that he exists (or existed) somewhere in the 616 universe (the main one). Funnily enough, that story was his first appearance, (in Funny Pages (1936) #1) and not this one, but since we're reading the Timely reprint, the order starts here. Not that the character has any continuity besides the multi-parters, anyway. 

Right off the bat, there are two big surprises. First, this isn't really a comic book. It's a text story. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is up to you (Personally, I'm not too big on it. I do read regular books, but in this case, it ends up taking a lot more time to finish for not too much extra quality or depth.) The second one, though, objectively sucks: The first page of the story is missing. Not even from the scan, it's basically lost media. Unless you have another original copy, there's no way to read it. It's not a huge deal, but it kinda sucks, especially because it's the very first page of the (expanded) order. Anyway, it's not all bad, the CMRO notes for the entry contain a summary of the page in the comments. No idea where they got it, but here it is if you're interested: 

'Dave Dean, accompanied by his friend Shorty, is captaining a freighter that carries (in addition to the crew, scientists and a Hindu priest), a million and a half dollars worth of uncut diamonds for the Maharajah of Nechal. Dave's ship gets an S.O.S. from the Mandora, a ship that had disappeared mysteriously with a like shipment of gems. They find the Mandora drifting aimlessly and Dave, Shorty and a few men head out in a small launch for the helpless vessel...'


The few illustrations that this thing does have are admittedly pretty good.

So there you go, Dave is a sort of sea captain kind of person. That's cool, the sea is a good setting, but I'm kind of worried about how many "Pirate Attack" stories they can come up with before the whole thing gets stale.

Anyway, after that, they get on the abandoned ship and find a somber atmosphere awaiting them. Dave leaves his allies behind (for safety reasons) and heads to the radio room alone, like the macho man he is. He finds it in complete shambles (like most of the ship) and figures the operator must be dead, given the blood splattered on the floor. I gotta say, the atmosphere throughout all this is pretty decent. It almost feels like horror. And I love horror!

Now, if the missing page wasn't bad enough, there's some incorrectly ordered text here. The first paragraph of the first column of page 2 should go after the rest of the column, but it's at the top. Anyway, again, the CMRO notes save the day.

Anyway, continuing his exploration of the ship, resident skipper Dave Dean finds the whole place covered with some kind of acid. His partner Shorty arrives and they discuss the situation.


Shorty wants to bring more people in to investigate, but Dave has a "bad feeling" (dude, just say you don't know what's going on) and doesn't want to put them in danger.

Alone again, Dave goes below deck and finds more destruction and two rotten bodies, so he figures the slaughter can't be recent. 


Also, what's with the rats? And the big-ass spider?


Did it swim to the ship? Are we close to Australia?

Heading to the engine room, Dave hears (and sees!) the prelude to an explosion in the form of a hissing sound and a flickering light, so he runs upstairs and commands everyone to jump into the water. 


How long was that wick? It gave time for everyone to be safe on the water by the time the explosion happened, including the people who were inside the ship, and not just standing on deck! Anyway, back on the launch, Shorty reckons the person who triggered the explosion must've gone down with the ship. Not quite tho. Apparently, the bomb was already planted and was set off by an already-lit candle. I guess they knew exactly when Dave and the others would be there. Or maybe they just wanted to destroy evidence. At any rate, we finish the story with a nice mystery and a list of suspects: The passengers of the ship. Apparently, one of them wants to steal the diamonds and kill everyone in the process. 



In case you haven't caught on by now, this is a two-parter, and you can read it here. Part two is on the next issue.

Let's move on to the ratings:

Quality/Enjoyment: 3/5

I was going to give it a lower rating for the sin of not being even a comic book, but this was actually pretty good! I enjoyed the mystery and the atmosphere throughout, and it wasn't even that long a read.
Still, I would've preferred this in comic-book format, and the missing page and poorly arranged text lowers the overall quality of the whole thing.

Historical/Cultural/Narrative Significance: 2/5

Dave Dean couldn't be farther away from being a relevant character: He has like six appearances with no crossovers and only one of them was even published by Marvel (On a reprint!). However, as small as his significance is, I do believe that being the oldest 616 character deserves some merit.

And that's it! Boy was this long. Probably my longest entry yet. Next time, part two of this story. That one's also text so the next entry might take a little while too (bear with me, this blog is the "on-the-side" of my already on-the-side stuff). So thanks for reading and have a nice rest of your day!

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

DCRO 49- The Funnies (1936) #6 [AD Story]

Story title: "Why Big Brothers Leave Home" (V)

Cover Date: March 1937

By: Sheldon Mayer

DCRO Entry


Here we go! Final one! Let's do this!


So, in this one Scribbly and  Beelzebub (That's what I'm calling the little brother for now), are playing together in the snow.

Beelzebub asks his brother to build him a snow fort, and he says yes! Pretty commendable if you ask me, that he still wants to be nice to him after all that happened. So he builds a pretty decent fort:

But just when you thought that some fraternal love was starting to grow on Beelzebub's tiny, shriveled-up heart, he asks Scribbly to enter the fort.

Dude! It's a trap! Don't do it!


Alas, the fort comes crumbling down, leaving Scribbly buried and confused.


I swear, the Tsk Tsk is by far the worst part of the character, and that's a lot. He kind of reminds me of Manny from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, if you guys ever read that (same asshole little brother trope dialed up to a hundred). In retrospect, there was something kinda wrong with Greg, but Manny was a full-blown psycho. Rodrick was really the only normal one in the family. Don't get me wrong, he was still an asshole, but I mean... He was a teenager, so nothing really out of place there.


And that's it! Read this here, blah blah whatever. Let's see the ratings!

Quality/Enjoyment: 1/5

Just some more unnecessarily mean badness (and when Scribbly was trying to be a good big bro despite it too!), not much more to say.

Historical/Cultural/Narrative Significance: 1/5

I'm gonna pause the DCRO for a little while and hope the new series is added while I'm gone. Meanwhile, let's start the CMRO! (We'll be reading only about five entries for now tho). Some of you may be wondering if I'm starting with Marvel Comics #1 or Fantastic Four #1. Well, the answer is neither, I hope you like Dave Dean because I surely don't! Anyway, we'll be reading the expanded one, obviously. For now, thanks for reading and have a nice rest of your day!

Wednesday, June 5, 2024

DCRO 48- The Funnies (1936) #6 [AB Story]

Story title: "Why Big Brothers Leave Home" (IV)

Cover Date: March 1937

By: Sheldon Mayer

DCRO Entry

        

Hello! Here we go again with this awful strip. Let's just get this over with.

So, Scribbly's having a nice stroll with his girlfriend/special friend, when his little brother (who apparently exists solely to screw his big bro over) decides to thwart his romantic pretensions. 



She then walks away in anger, thinking it was Scribbly who hit her. A couple problems with this: first, Scribbly's hands were clearly in his pockets a second ago.


And second, what is this exactly?


I hope it's not a rock because if it is, it looks big enough to cause some serious damage (also, what a way to waste a perfectly round rock, I mean, how rare are those?!), but if it's a snowball (as I'd like to believe) it would've felt pretty differently to a smack in the nape. Anyway, my point is, why the hell was her first instinct to think that her boyfriend/special friend had smacked her absolutely out of nowhere instead of just checking behind her to see who did? It could have been a football (or a baseball, lol) or something like that you know? You don't necessarily have to assume that a baby gremlin did it. Anyway, bitches do be crazy, I guess (I don't actually believe this, just in case).


Oh and then he gets his just desserts. Good! Seeing some justice-handing (or footing?) is really the only thing I enjoy about the little brother character at this point.


Good for you Kenneth! Next time though, think a bit more about your story (or hope that your girlfriend is fine if she actually got that massive boulder thrown at her).



Gee! One whole dollar? That's almost enough to buy one whole piece of gum! (I'm 50% sure I've made this joke already... Eh, whatever.)

That's it for now. You can read this story here.

Let's see the ratings! 

Quality/Enjoyment: 1/5

It wasn't until I reread this for the blog that I noticed how little sense the whole thing makes. Anyway, maybe that's not that important. It's a comic strip, it doesn't really have to make sense, just be fun. This, however, is not.

Historical/Cultural/Narrative Significance: 1/5

Alright, we're almost there! Just one more strip to exit this Scribbly gauntlet. I'll see you then but for now, thank you for reading and have a nice rest of your day!

CMRO 4- Funny Pages (1936) #3 [P Story]

Story title: "Shark" Cover Date: November 1937 By: Norman Daniels and Fred Guardineer CMRO Entry We now finish this back and forth...